At this point it’s clear all these Marches (eg, science, taxes) are like Scrabble*: an excuse for white people to show off word play. And if you’re one of those people who share “the best sign at the protest,” you’re missing the point—while feeding into this carnival-like behavior—and you need to knock it off right now.
*Motherfucking Scrabble. Getting good at that game is the adult version of memorizing vocabulary words for the spelling test.
Motherfuckers taking pictures and videos at the theater. Not only is it disrespectful and illegal, it’s also pointless. Look, asshole, you’re gonna go home and listen to the soundtrack not watch your shitty videos shot in portrait mode from the mezzanine.
One day I’m going to write a treatise on the word “fuck,” and how it is, arguably, the best word in the English language. And how it is, inarguably, imbued with so much power by the very people who condemn it and not by the people who use it.
But for now, I’ll start by shutting down the stupidest argument against curses in general: “it shows a small vocabulary.” Are you really going to tell me that inoffensive words like “darn” and “shoot” used to express the same sentiments are ten dollar words? They’re all one fucking syllable words that first graders know. So shut the fuck up with that inane argument already.
Also, you’re incredibly pretentious to the point of uselessness in the real world if you truly believe that argument. In general, having a big vocabulary in English says more about how many words you’ve memorized—or had the privilege to be exposed to because of your culture/good education—than your fucking IQ.
Going out to dinner with people means you eat at the most bland restaurant possible or some weird place the pushy one in the group insists on. The best you can hope for is that you’re with people who’ll split the bill down the middle instead of itemizing it. If you’re an adult and you itemize the bill, fucking knock it off.
If you’re outraged by Kanye West and you like The Beatles, I don’t want to fucking hear it.
The Beatles are a fucking boy band from half a century go that hippie white people have practically canonized. John Lennon has a plaque dedicated to him in Central Park and people leave him flowers every day. He’s been dead for over 30 years and ya’ll take pilgrimages to leave him fucking flowers!
John Lennon was also a known woman and child abuser too. It’s like you can fucking compartmentalize that shit. Or at least ignore it.
Kanye hasn’t been known to do stuff like that. His crime is loud mouth bragging and shit talking. Yet that’s a capital fucking offense to you people.
More than one Beatles-loving white person has told to me they think “Kanye West represents the worst of America.” No, asshole. The worst of America is represented by hating on a black dude for bragging too much while deifying a white dude who abused women and children.
I woke up this morning feeling no better about the state of the world. It was fun to play pretend for a while and blame “2016.” But now it’s January 1, 2017 and in less than three weeks, Trump will be handed the nuclear codes. Giddy up.